How do you serve in your marriage or family?

One way that I try to serve my husband is by driving, doing the laundry, and bringing him things he needs if he's already sitting down. I know these are just small things, but I try to do them so that he knows I care about him. I'm not perfect in this area, but I really want to get better. Our Savior was the perfect example of selfless service. He washed His disciples' feet--a job that usually servants did. It's such a humbling thought that my Savior, the one who created the entire universe, was humble enough to do a servant's job. I want to become more like Him by finding more ways to serve my husband. I notice that when I serve Matt, I feel more love towards him. I even start to feel like I want to serve him more and more! 

Linda K. Burton Quote

I think it's interesting that Sister Burton didn't say "our meeting houses," she said "the home." It got me thinking about how I need to be better about making my home sacred like the temple. One thing I could really do better about in that regard is keeping my home clean like the temple is. Another thing would be to make sure that I don't allow any non-physical filth in. I feel like I've been getting better and better about turning off things that don't edify, but I know that I can be better. Maybe if I make a little sign with this quote on it, I will remember that that's the goal. The last way that I can make my home more like the temple would be to invite the Spirit in by reading my scriptures more often and by saying my prayers more diligently on my own and with my husband. 

Family History

A couple of years ago, I started to do family history work. Before that, I never thought that I could do family history. I guess I just never imagined that I could figure it out or that there would be any work left for me to do or any more people for me to find. Well, when I started my tree, I found out that there was actually a lot of work to be done! I also discovered that it was much easier than I thought it would be. 
I found out that genealogy was fun and easy. The reason I started to do family history was because I had been told many times throughout my life by church leaders that it was a commandment. Why is it so emphasized? The answer is that it is how we can seal our ancestors to us so that we can all be exalted and live together forever with God. Not only is family history interesting and fulfilling, it is helping to bring more children into His fold. 
There is a primary song that talks about the hearts of the children turning towards their fathers. They call it the truth from Elijah. Elijah was an Old Testament prophet who was in charge of restoring the sealing keys to the Church in the latter days. It makes sense that we call the excitement for genealogy the spirit of Elijah. We could also call it the spirit of sealing. 
We are responsible for our ancestors. They're waiting for us to discover them and to do their saving ordinances. I never got to be a missionary because I got married before I had the chance. When I do family history and then take names to the temple to do their work, I really feel like I am being a missionary. 
There is a very special spirit that I feel when I do family history. For one thing, I feel like I'm unfolding parts of myself. Before family history, I didn't know that I had such deep roots here in Oregon. My mother's ancestors crossed the plains on the Oregon Trail and apparently settled here. Knowing that gives me a certain pride and a sense of belonging. My father's ancestors crossed the plains on the Mormon Trail and settled Utah. I also feel a sense of belonging when I'm there and pride when I read about their stories.
Another reason I like family history is the satisfaction of solving a puzzle. When you've been looking for a certain piece of information and you finally find it, it's like you just completed a 5,000 piece puzzle by yourself. It's exciting and fulfilling. 
I also feel the Spirit when I do family history work. There is a great feeling of peace that I have when I spend my time in that way. I know that I'm doing the right thing. I know that family history is the Lord's work. I know that when I find names to take to the temple that Heavenly Father is pleased with me. I know that if you try family history, you will feel the same peace that I do. If you don't, pray for help to feel the spirit of Elijah. All things are possible through Jesus Christ! In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Here is a picture of a beloved ancestor of mine who knew the prophet Joseph Smith very well. He's my great-great-great grandfather. He left a wonderful legacy of faith. His name is John S. Fullmer.

Here's a picture of my great grandmother named Margaret Rachel Thomas. She was not a member of the Church, but by all accounts was a wonderful mother who taught her kids how to be excellent people, and she was an amazing cook.

My mom and dad are good examples to me

"THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."
-The Family: A Proclamation to the World

When my mom and dad got married back in 1979, they knew that they needed to have children because the prophets and apostles made it clear that that was a very important thing for them to do. It was part of their sacred responsibilities as husband and wife. At the time, my mom and dad were very poor and hadn't finished school yet. But they had faith that if they carried out the will of Heavenly Father, everything would turn out all right. 
They had their first three children right away and never went hungry, even though my dad was trying to finish his degree at BYU, and my mom was a stay-at-home mother. Any time they ran out of food, someone would come over and offer them their leftovers, even though my parents never said they needed food. Or sometimes they would shake hands with someone at church, and in the other person's hand would be a $20 bill. 
The Lord blessed them for following His counsel. This reminds me of a scripture in 1 Nephi. It's in chapter 3 verse 7. "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." I'm glad that my parents had the faith to do what God wanted them to do. They found that He provided a way for them to accomplish the commandment. 
My parents have never regretted having a large family, even though it seemed to the rest of the world that doing so was foolish. They ignored those worldly views and followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost. They continued to have children and didn't stop until they knew that they had had all the children Heavenly Father wanted them to. Their decision wasn't based on how many kids the neighbors had or anything else. I respect my parents for being righteous examples to me in that regard. They have strengthened my testimony of the eternal nature of families. If had stopped after one or two kids, I wouldn't be here today, and my parents wouldn't be the people they are now. I know that the family proclamation is the word of God. I know that families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's plan. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

How do you make each day special at home?

I asked my dad this question. He told me that he tried to make each day special at home by saying his prayers. He knows that saying his prayers will make the rest of his day go better. He also said that his day is special when he gets to spend good time with my mom. The knowledge of his children having the gospel in their lives is also something that makes his home life special. 

A quote from the prophet and a story from my dad

I asked my dad about his home growing up, and he told me about his mom. She always showed her love by going without for her children. She wanted to make sure that her kids got what they wanted before she got what she wanted. She took a job to get things for her kids and make them feel special. She also told my dad that she loved him every day. He remembers sitting on her lap and hearing stories. 

He also told me about how his dad spent time playing with him and his brothers and sisters. He took them to the lake to swim with them. My dad recalls his parents swimming with them and having a good time. They went all summer long. His dad also played a game they made up called knee-ball. That was one of the favorites. His dad showed love mostly by spending time with the kids. He also showed love by providing for them and showing a good example by doing his church callings. 

My dad recalls having family prayer every day and family night every week. Though he doesn't remember having a perfect childhood, he had many wonderful memories of his loving family. His mom and dad tried to create a loving home like the one President Monson talked about.

Chastity

I want to specifically talk about pornography today. This is a difficult subject to talk about because everyone feels something about it. Whether that's defensiveness, hatred, humor, hurt, or enjoyment. The Church is very clear on the effects of this medium. Elder Oaks said this: "Pornography impairs one’s ability to enjoy a normal emotional, romantic, and spiritual relationship with a person of the opposite sex. It erodes the moral barriers that stand against inappropriate, abnormal, or illegal behavior. As conscience is desensitized, patrons of pornography are led to act out what they have witnessed, regardless of its effects on their life and the lives of others." 
I am continuously amazed at the ignorance people have regarding pornography. Think for a minute about how you've seen in portrayed in the entertainment industry. My experience has been that even my favorite shows seem to show pornography addictions as something that is kind of funny. Like a "boys will be boys" type of thing. I've even heard people say that it doesn't hurt anyone but the user. This thinking is so, so flawed! Anyone who has a close loved one with this addiction will know that it is not a harmless thing. And if you aren't feeling the pain from it now, just wait. You'll feel it soon. 
Let me also say that pornography is not just something that men have as addictions. There are tons of women out there who struggle with it, too. The statistics are staggering. 
Pornography is definitely addictive. Listen to this quote by Elder Oaks:
"Pornography is also addictive. It impairs decision-making
capacities and it 'hooks' its users, drawing them
back obsessively for more and more. A man who had
been addicted to pornography and to hard drugs wrote
me this comparison: 'In my eyes cocaine doesn’t hold
a candle to this. I have done both. . . . Quitting even the
hardest drugs was nothing compared to [trying to quit
pornography]' (letter of Mar. 20, 2005)."
That is incredible to me. It is truly an addictive substance. 
Pornography is also closely related to sex crimes. Many sex crimes committed were done by pornography addicts. There have even been some famous serial killers who admitted that pornography was the reason they went as far as they did. 
Heavenly Father wants us to be chaste and virtuous. To do that, we must keep our minds clear by avoiding pornography at all costs. If you see it somewhere, run away and/or turn it off. Exposure to porn happens at a very early age, so we need to teach our kids what to watch out for, and we need to put filters on our computer. But the best filter is the one in your heart and mind. 
I know that if we rid pornography from our lives that we will be blessed and happy. I also know that anything is possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. If you struggle with an addiction, you can be cured through the grace of Christ. He will help you if you seek Him. I know that if you are a loved one who has been affected by the actions of someone else, that His grace can heal all wounds. Even those caused by pornography. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

http://overcomingpornography.org/

Robert D. Hales Quote

We marry potential. I like this! I think it is really important to make sure that you find someone who has the same goals and standards as you, but if you get hung up on the fact that they're not totally perfect, you will likely never get married. You will always be disappointed. I'm glad that my husband can see the potential in me and that I can see the potential in him. We knew that we weren't perfect when we got married, but we decided to take each other anyway. Now that we are married, we need to remind ourselves of the way Heavenly Father sees our spouse. He knows what we are capable of. I know that Elder Hales was inspired to give this message during General Conference, and I'm glad he did. It's a great reminder to me of the bigger picture.

Children and a Miracle

My husband and I quite some time ago (about two and a half years) decided that we wanted to bring a child into this world. After a few months, I started wondering why we weren't getting pregnant. Months turned into years. Each time one of my friends would announce their pregnancy, I struggled to feel genuine happiness for them. I felt jealousy on a level I've never felt before. 
Then, during the General Women's Broadcast this October, there was a video clip shown of a woman who didn't have any children of her own, but who was able to be blessed with nieces and nephews and primary children. That clip really touched my heart. During the whole time that Matt and I have been trying to have babies, I've been able to be a mother figure to a ton of kids. I have my own nieces and nephews that I'm very close to, I've served as a primary teacher for a lot of the time, and I've been able to teach violin for the past few months. 
Now, I don't know why Heavenly Father hasn't blessed me with my own children yet, but I know that He is ever mindful of me and my needs. Whatever the reason for not blessing me in that way now, I know that He still loves me and that He knows all. If you happen to be struggling with infertility or you have another reason that you aren't able to have children, I hope that this story gives you some comfort. I also know that even if we aren't blessed with children in this life, we will be in the next. In Jesus' name, amen. 

The Eternal Family

One thing that I was actually pretty surprised to learn this semester is that the family is the absolute most important thing in our entire existence. If you really think about it, you'll see what I mean. Heavenly Father wanted us to be able to become like Him. Why? So that we can have eternal families like He does! When Eve partook of the fruit in the Garden of Eden and Adam chose to stay with her by also partaking of the fruit, they made it possible for them to have their own eternal families. Since Adam and Eve fell, Heavenly Father provided a Savior for us to be able to return to Him. Our savior, Jesus the Christ, atoned for our sins so that we can become like God by having eternal families. 

I always knew that families were really important because the ancient and modern prophets emphasize that. But it never really occurred to me that families are the most important thing about being. When you think of it that way, it really makes sense that we are told that marriage is the single most important decision we will make in this lifetime. And that means that having children is not just a milestone that you may or may not choose to have as part of your life, depending on whether you like kids or not. Having children and getting married is a sacred and serious commandment from God that is of utmost eternal significance. That is the whole reason we are here with bodies. 

I am so glad that I am taking this religion class because otherwise it may have taken me much longer to truly realize what the most important thing is.

You can also say that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the most important thing, but that's the same thing, isn't it? The Atonement exists because Heavenly Father loves us enough that He wants us to become like Him and has provided the way for us to do that by sacrificing His Only Begotten Son. 

I know that Jesus Christ is the Savior of us all. I know that if we choose the right and keep the commandments, that we will be able to live with our families for all eternity. I know that having a family will be the most important thing I do in this life. 

How can I show more love in my family?

This is something that I've been thinking a lot about over the past three weeks. In my religion class, we had the assignment to use the "5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman to show more love for our family members. I had each of them take the test on the website so that I could know what their primary love languages were. I was a bit surprised by the results! My husband's language was acts of service. My heart sank a little bit because I knew that I hadn't been doing very much for him in that area. So I've been making a marked effort to try and become better at this so that he can feel more loved by me. My mom's love language was also acts of service. Again, I realized how short I've fallen. And again, I've tried to be more helpful to her so that she knows I really do love her. My dad had a tie between physical touch and quality time. That made sense to me because he said that he really appreciates when I pat his shoulder if he looks like he's depressed. And he always loves it when we spend some quality time together talking about stuff or just petting the animals together. My younger brother had the love language of quality time, as well. I didn't know this about him, but it also makes sense. Luckily, that's what he and I do best! I tried to make sure I made some time to be available for him to show him that I care. I have a long way to go, I think, but knowing their love languages has helped be become a little less selfish. At least I hope it has. It has also helped me to recognize the way that they are showing love toward me. 

President Monson Quote

My family growing up was far from perfect, but I am so grateful that my parents tried to make these attributes prominent in our home. We had family prayer and scripture and family home evenings regularly. These activities helped me to grow my testimony. I know that if I do these things with my husband and my future kids, that we will have a happy home filled with the Spirit. 

Bednar Quote

I really like this quote! It doesn't do much good to just say how much we love our family if we aren't doing anything to prove that to them. Of course we should make sure that we express that love verbally, but we shouldn't be loving in word only. We need to think lovingly, and serve lovingly. I want to be the kind of wife, mother, and daughter who is this way. And about our words: in everything we say, whether or not we are specifically expressing love, there should be no doubt in the minds of our loved ones of how much we care about them. Once you say something, you can never take it back, so be careful!

Women: Our Divine Nature and Role

This semester in my religion class, I've had the chance to learn more about families and why they are so essential to Heavenly Father's plan. One thing I'd like to talk about in this post is women. It is overwhelmingly clear to me how much the brethren of the Church love us, sisters. Every time General Conference rolls around, more than one speaker will testify of our divine heritage and how much respect they have for us. When you think about where the brethren are getting these messages and remember that their topics are inspired, you can know that it's actually God telling us how important we are to Him. 
Elder Christofferson gave an awesome talk called "The Moral Force of Women" during General Conference of October 2013. He said this of us: "Women bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that makes them adept at instilling such qualities as faith, courage, empathy, and refinement in relationships and in cultures." This makes me think of my mom. She brought a special softness into our home, and when she was out of the house, we could really feel the loss of those wonderful qualities that she added to our home. 
One truly amazing thing about women is that we have the incredible ability to create a human being inside of our own bodies! Everything about our physique is centered around this ability. We have wider hips that let us pass a baby through them, we have breasts that supply nourishment and comfort to our children, and every month our uterus prepares to grow a baby inside of it. The power to procreate is one of the biggest responsibilities and biggest blessings that Heavenly Father has given to us. The greatest thing He can do is create, and He has given His children that ability as well, although on a smaller scale. You can understand then why Satan uses this power within us to tempt us. All over the entertainment industry we see procreation being stripped down in very crude ways. It is one of the most sacred privileges of ours, yet it is the brunt of so much inappropriateness. 
Another cool thing about women is that we have great empathy. It is easy for us to tell how other people are feeling and this is part of what makes us good nurturers. 
I know that Heavenly Father has endowed great powers to women and that the family can't be complete without us. I know that He intended men and women to work together in marriage to create families that will last forever. I know that this is possible if we keep the commandments. There's so much more that can be said about women, but for now I will leave it at this. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Background on Me

I am a married college student attending Brigham Young University-Idaho. I've been married for almost three years to my husband, Matt. Marriage hasn't been a piece of cake for us, but we enjoy it! We were married in the Boise, Idaho temple on December 27th, 2012.

I was born in Idaho, but grew up mostly in Pendleton, Oregon. Matt grew up in Boise. I have 6 siblings--2 sisters and 3 brothers--and 10 nieces and nephews. I love my family! One of the things I love most about my family is that I am sealed to them for time and all eternity. That means that if we keep the commandments that Heavenly Father has laid out for us and have faith in His Son, we can live together forever in the presence of God. That is a thought that gives me so much comfort and peace. I don't think it would be heaven if my family couldn't be there with me.

Here is a nice quote that sums up the goal for my home:

I don't have any children yet, but when my husband and I are finally blessed with kids, we want our home to be a place where the Holy Ghost dwells and the gospel is taught.